WHY ‘Problems’ create more ‘Problems’?
According to Dr P.V. Vaidayanthan, author of Spirituality Bytes, occurrences and life’s plan are labeled as ‘Problems’. My conversation with Dr Vaidyanathan who talks about why ‘Problems’ create more ‘Problems’
1) WHY do some people always talk about their problems?
Many people don’t understand the WHY of their problems. Existence has laid our life plans in such a way that is it not always possible for us to know the WHY of everything—a natural calamity that kills our loved ones, an accident that destroys our property. We have to realize that in existence, there are only occurrences and no problems. We only label an opportunity, occurrence or episode as a ‘problem’ when it may not be one.
2) WHY do we label some opportunities, occurrences or incidents as a problem?
When there is an event or an occurrence, we first see whether it is favorable or unfavorable to us. If it is favorable to us we are elated. If it is not favorable and if we don’t know how to cope with the change, due to the occurrence, we call it a problem.
3) But some occurrences may cause immense hardship and require us to put in a lot of hard work.
Absolutely! Some plans laid by existence are beyond human comprehension. And no matter how grave the problem, the moment you start thinking of it as life’s plan, and not a problem, it becomes easier to plan your own course of action, so you don’t get bogged down by the magnitude of the problem.
4) Sometimes they say people create problems. Or dig one’s own grave! WHY does that happen?
When we don’t want something or don’t want to work hard to deal with something—we label it a problem. So if we’ve had an easy time at work and due to new market conditions need to work harder we have a problem on hand. Some people believe talking about a problem helps them communicate with others better, so they keep talking about their own problems. Labeling something as a problem is an escape route too—not only do we get attention from others, our mind rationalizes and seeks justifications too.
5) How does our mind rationalize and seek justifications to avoid ‘problems’?
After labeling unwanted occurrences as a problem, our mind automatically switches to a ‘problem solving mode’ and starts seeking solutions or escape routes, because no one wants to live with a problem. A servant desperately needs money, and instead of working harder to earn a loan, he steals money from his cash-rich employer. He overcomes his initial guilt by justifying his action as ‘my employer has enough money’. The employer considers it a problem to inform the police and he considers it below his dignity to talk to his servant and tell him that he did a wrong deed. So he does nothing about the offense his servant commited but he now has a problem on hand—he distrusts all his workers and servants and is always tense about losing his personal belongings. Accepting a problem as an occurrence or life’s plan and not creating escape routes to run away from the problem will itself ensure we have lesser problems in future.
Very pertinent and motivating thoughts, as usual, from Dr. Vaidyanathan. I guess when something happens that we would normally label as a “problem” we should stop focusing on it and focus instead on possible solutions. Hope many people read this.
“Accepting a problem as an occurrence or life’s plan and not creating escape routes to run away from the problem will itself ensure we have lesser problems in future.” I like this last punch line. When a problem, if a ‘real’ one ever occurs, has to be attended to then and there. I am reminded of a book: Who moved my cheese? wherein human tendency to put off or neglect problems as they arise is discussed at length. Developing a habit to “nip it in bud” so to say, will reduce problems leading to more problems. Good advice from Dr Vaidyanathan.
If one labels an opportunity, occurence or an episode as a PROBLEM only then does it become a Problem, and then Problems create more Problems. Our minds/mindsets should be tuned to think that occurence is an occurence, an opportunity is an opportunity and an episode is an episode. And nothing else. THEN PROBLEMS DO NOT HAVE A PLACE HERE.
The word PROBLEM is a misnomer . PROBLEM is something difficult to deal with or solve. But what is difficult for me, may be easy for someone else. But every problem has a solution– however correct/ incorrect, appropriate/ inappropriate it may be. And if we have to face a PROBLEM we must know there is a solution to it. .
One can see the same thing as a ‘problem’ and get bogged down while someone else would consider it as a ‘challenge’. If I am asked to see a patient for second opinion, it is because my colleague phones me and says he has a ‘problem’. He takes a simple route of referral instead of reading more or discussing with someone to solve it. Thus he shuns off his ‘problem’ by passing to someone else. I would take it as a challenge and try to solve it. And whatever the outcome, it gives me an opportunity to learn. If I solve the problem, it gives me confidence to take on more problems and if I fail, it makes me search where I was deficient and again offers me an opportunity to improve so that I am able to solve similar problem next time.
It is said that God gives you a problem just to test you how you cope up with it and if he finds you are not fit to take on it, he may choose to ingore you and leave you with mediocre a life plan with lesser problems.
At the Tata’s corporate head office in Bombay, you will find a plaque inscribed with J.R.D.Tata’s message. “We try to solve difficult problems first and impossible ones next”.
I feel that is how we should take on problems. And imagine life without a problem, it may be so incipid that pleasures would not be enjoyable because after all, we value pleasures just because we can compare them with displeasures.
Each one of us is conditioned to think that life is very predictable and uncluttered. It is only when we mature mentally that we understand that there are no answers to all the WHYs of the world. Why did Mumbaiites have to drown in the flash floods of 26th July? Why did cyclone Katrina attack the US? Why did NASA’s shuttle Challenger blow up in space despite all the scientific equipment? Why do accidents occur? There are no complete answers.
Likewise there are no answers as to why some people fall ill at a younger age and succumb even when they have led a healthy life. So, we have to accept life with all these queries which creates problems in our minds.
I liked the way Amdekar Sir concluded: we value pleasures just because we can compare them with the displeasures.
Hence, let us accept problems and ask Almighty to give us the strength and courage to overcome it.